Living before forgetting how to live
A family is sitting right next to us. They are having breakfast and enjoying their morning chai. The gorgeous sun is falling on everyone's face. The father has forgotten to bring a paper and both mother and daughter start teasing him that he suffers from dementia. The moment they mention Alzheimer's as the punch line everyone is having a hearty laugh, washing it off with "just joking" and the father proudly showing off his impeccable memory skills. The moment is sweet and light hearted, but also ironic. Why?
Because my wife and I are sitting with my father in law, who suffered a heart-breaking stroke in front of my wife five years ago and his dementia has only accelerated in recent years. We are now in the hospital cafeteria again for the latest round of tests. A light-hearted moment for the people next to us made me wonder.
Why are we insensitive to those experiences that we have not faced ourselves? How many of us choose a 'lazy' joke over empathy? How many of us stop and think on how a 'joke' may trigger feelings of anxiety, stress, sadness and grief to those around us?
Seeing our elderly parents grow even older, the last few years have been a journey. Learning that only infinite amounts of patience will do. Feeling the grief of what once was but it's not anymore, hitting you hard and when you least expect it. Understanding that what was considered five years ago simple, is now energy-consuming, stressful and complex for everyone involved. Realising that joyful moments are now more scarce, and when they come you treasure them like cold water on a scorching day.
I want everyone to know more about dementia. I want everyone to talk about it. I want everyone's life to become a little bit better. To help a little, I will run this April - at least a mile each day.
Thank you in advance for supporting me!
