Living before forgetting how to live
A family is sitting right next to us. They are having breakfast and enjoying their morning chai. The gorgeous sun is falling on everyone's face. The father has forgotten to bring a paper and both mother and daughter start teasing him that he suffers from dementia. The moment they mention Alzheimer's as the punch line everyone is having a hearty laugh, washing it off with "just joking" and the father proudly showing off his impeccable memory skills. The moment is sweet and light hearted, but also ironic. Why?
Because my wife and I are sitting with my father-in-law, who suffered a mini stroke or TIA (transient ischaemic attack) in front of my heartbroken wife five years ago, that propelled his dementia journey. We are now in the hospital cafeteria again for the latest round of tests. A light-hearted moment for the people next to us made me wonder.
Why are we usually insensitive to those experiences that we have not faced ourselves? How many of us choose a 'lazy' joke over empathy? How many of us stop and think about how a 'joke' may trigger feelings of anxiety, stress, sadness and grief to those around us?
The last few years have been quite a journey witnessing our elderly parents grow even older as their dementia accelerates. The journey has been full of learnings. Understanding that only infinite amounts of patience, accompanied by love and kindness, will do. Feeling the grief of what once was but is not anymore, hitting you hard and when you least expect it. Accepting that what was considered simple five years ago is now energy-consuming, stressful and complex for everyone involved. Realising that joyful moments are now more scarce, and when they come you treasure them like cold water on a scorching day.
I want everyone to know more about dementia. I want everyone to talk about it. I want everyone's life to become a little bit better. To help a little, I am running throughout April – at least a mile each day; to help raise awareness and funds, so there is improved understanding and support for those suffering – both patients and their families across the world.
Thank you in advance for supporting me!
