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Donna Wilkins

Walk 30 Miles in September

Help me reach my goal of £750

My Activity Tracking

102
mi

I'm walking 30 miles in September

I’m walking 30 Miles in September and raising funds for families affected by dementia. I would be grateful for your support.

An £8 donation could cover the telephone costs of two families seeking support through Dementia UK's free Helpline. £33 could fund an hour with a dementia specialist Admiral Nurse, helping a family with practical solutions and emotional support.

Thank you!

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My Goal

£750

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My Updates

From my heart.

Wednesday 1st Oct
I feel as a daughter, wife and a mother,now grandmother that caring for everyone is a natural thing to do. 
When your other half  gets given a diagnosis of dementia you just continue to care.. 
You don't really know what to expect unless you have cared for maybe a parent or older relative.  
As the stages progress so do the care levels . You end up so consumed in caring for someone else you can neglect yourself and what you need.  You just don't have the time.  Then you realise that you can't pour from an empty cup. 
My days keeping Darren safe and at home are challenging.  He has just started to up the ante.. turning the cooker on,hands in the toaster,playing with switches. If only I had eyes in the back of my head. 
Getting things done indoors takes so much longer. Always half done jobs..  Even showering can only happen when I have put a meal in front of him. 
I don't like asking our children for too much help as I want them to have father and daughter/son relationship.    Sometimes this doesn't quite go to plan.. 
You start by feeling this is so unfair and cheated ,then mourning for the life you had then it just becomes the new normal. During this time it becomes very isolating but you don't see it as you are so consumed in caring.   I have found that I need to get back out in the real world as  you dont know how long you are going to be on this  D.Bus. The worry of how will I be after... a far lot worse if I don't get out and stay  in my social circle.  
The guilt you carry doing this and letting go of some control .. Darren follows me everywhere and has moments of worry when I'm not about.  But I'm only human and need some time out.  
We truly appreciate the love and support from all of our friends checking in. It brightens our day knowing you are there. 
Our aim is to keep Darren out of hospital and enjoy everyday at home.   
To make you smile, 
There was a spider in the hallway above the radiator, Craig was my hero. Darren has been looking for it most of the evening..  


broken sleep.

Friday 26th Sep
This week has had a few challenges.. 
Darren is back to getting his 1000,000 steps in each day.  Finding the snacks to keep him going.. 
Tuesday night we had a 1am low sugars,2.30 fall out of bed,then a 4am low sugars..   I say we as I'm the one who notices the sugars,gets the juice and wakes  him to drink the juice.  Early start for me.. 
Wednesday was a lovely day celebrating my birthday.  Although Darren had no idea that it was my birthday ,that's ok. I didn't expect him to. 
I took the little people in our life out  for a forest trip and Darren joined us at the lake for 10mins with Emma. That was enough for him. 
Met Lauren for a much loved pub lunch.. Almost forgotten what that is (pardon the pun)
Then, Thursday night, another 1am low sugars, 2am bed change,4 am low sugars, 5am bed change.  I gave up after. 
The low sugars keep on coming 34 years down the line. 
Diabetes sure is consistent, a bit like Darren's daily 1000,000 steps. 
To make you smile ,Darren never fails. He called the carer a knob again today. 

The trouble with shat!!

Monday 22nd Sep
I have been wondering whether to post this update as it's  a bit personal.  
Last Monday was a shat day. 
There are some things  that you don't share as you want to protect loved ones . But then how do you get to hear the real stuff and make awareness? 
Darren was having trouble trying to 💩.  Extremely constipated.  With this came the pain, sweats,stress of trying, then the fear of low blood sugars.. and potentially an addisons crisis.  
Yep,the sugars dropped.  I managed to get 2 hypo gels in whilst I could. Nope,Darren went semi consciousness.  Time to act,so the paramedics came.  Believe me,I do my hardest not use  ambulance time on something I can usually sort out.  They are always reassuring that I did right to call. 
I managed to get some juice in him too..   They were with us for about an hr ,still no sign of the problem and his stats were good and his sugars were better.   I felt I could handle things from there. 
My point being, constipation could bring on a heart attack or stroke as the blood flow and oxygen changes under severe stress. 
I did read that there are people dying because their body can't cope, apparently Elvis Presley being one.. 
The next few days were very restful as it took it's toll. 
To make you smile, today Darren thinks he's 27  making me 24... The look I got when I asked if I looked good for 24... then came the tears of laughter. 

My prayers answered.

Monday 15th Sep
I had been feeling totally exhausted for most of last week.  Darren had been constantly on the move and having to follow him everywhere  for the last few months is exhausting.  Checking  he hasn't pressed the washing machine buttons,the cooker knobs,microwave ,you get the picture.. Darren is used to using these things.. if only he could tell me what he is trying to do.. I believe he is trying to help with things. 
I would hate to keep trying to stop him moving about.  After all it does him good as he don't get out really. 
As sad as it is to see him more tired and resting for longer periods of time it has given me the chance to sit for a bit. 
Don't get me wrong,he does choose to get up and wander just when I'm settled with a hot coffee..  but a bit less on the go has helped me reset my body to take on the next challenging day with him. 
We,the family got together to celebrate Emma's birthday.  No misshaps.. a few strange behaviours that some haven't seen.  We can take that as a win. 
To make you smile,he did wake up the other day and came in wearing 5 t shirts.. sign for heating to go on. 

Ups and downs

Sunday 7th Sep
This has been a week of ups and downs. 
Darren's carer still gets told to f.off everyday but Darren is accepting his help. 
Darren must be feeling better in himself as he has started to look for food. His snacking has never helped keep his sugars balanced.  This has now started to have an impact on controlling his overall health. 
The highs,the lows. Feeling thirsty,tired,getting aggy... 
This will also affect his Addisons disease.. sodium and potassium levels change with the extra drinking  . 
That said, then there's the dementia side.. 
He seems happy most of the time. Even trying to be helpful. Like bringing in the washing.. that I've only just put out..  looking in cups as if to make tea,only to walk away.. sadly he can't remember how to make tea.  Moving the bits in the sink as if he's washed them up... 
Then the worst job, picking up the dog poop,but trying with his hands.. 🤮 
The endless trying to get out,I don't know how much the door handle can take it... 
On a good note, we are surviving.  
I have done 27 miles this week getting out every day.  
I take this as a win. 

Diabetes and dementia

Saturday 30th Aug
When you care for someone with diabetes and dementia it's a new level of care. 
Darren will not recognise his sugars dropping.  He wears a continuous sensor to monitor his sugars. We have it set to alert us when they drop so we can help him. 
He doesn't know how to use a phone anymore so whoever is looking after him needs to check and see what Darren needs. 
Darren wouldn't think to go and get juice or carby foods so relies on us. 
This can happen randomly throughout the day and night. 
Our days as a caregiver has no breaks. It really is 24/7. 
This can happen 3 or more times a day. There are so many factors that can cause sugars to drop. 
He has had many episodes throughout his 34 years of living with diabetes.  Countless times he has lost consciousness and had seizures with extremely low blood sugars leading to low oxygen levels damaging brain cells.  
Thank goodness for the sensor and not relying on the old way of many finger pricking tests. That said, it's even better when he doesn't pull the sensor off..  a 2 week sensor costs £50. The gp only supplies 2 a month. 🙏he forgets he is wearing it . Ironically.
Writing this whilst waiting for sugars go up and keep stable so I can sleep.  

Our journey.

Thursday 28th Aug
I haven't voiced this publicly before.  
We as a family have had our world turned upside down.  
Darren has many health conditions and had been acting off for a few years doing random things that we believed were not within his normal self.  It caused a massive change to our family connection.  
Then 2 years in and out of hospital to be diagnosed with another autoimmune condition. We thought,great.This explains things.  But no,still back and forth being admitted to hospital several more times with more deterioration.  
Finally we got told that Darren has has several strokes,which we had found out along the way and he has been diagnosed with vascular dementia.  It has progressed faster than expected.  
Age 57 and needing full-time care, this has had a massive impact on all our lives. 
He has now been home for 10weeks. The longest stint from the start of ill health. 
We care for him at home and don't know what the future holds. 

Thank you to my Sponsors

£50

Gemma X

Love you tons.. you are an inspiration, a warrior and our superwoman!! There for everyone and still smiling through the ups and downs…. Well done my sister from another mr xx 🥰❤️💙

£50

Laura Caney

Sending lots of love to you all. You’re amazing! Xx

£50

Lorraine G

Thinking of you always. Love Lorraine ❤️

£40

Anonymous

£35

Fae

Well done mum!! We are all so proud and grateful for you and everything you do. Lyra said, love you lots Nanny Nonna xxxx

£35

Tracey Gobbons

Donna you’ve got this. You are absolutely amazing, keep strong .xx

£33

Chris Duddell

£33

Dan, Kerry And Kids

Thinking of you all x

£30

Nessa

With love to you both ❤️

£25

Esther

Sending love and hugs to you and your family Donna. x

£25

Janet Cassford

Well done for taking on this challenge Donna. Hope to see you at parkrun, getting your miles in for Darren. Lots of love Janet and Pip xx

£20

Heather

£20

Tracey Bargery

Well done Donna x

£20

Martin Kearney

Well done Donna x

£20

Emma Windust

Superwoman!

£20

Julie & Matt

Go Donna 💪 Sending our very best wishes & lots of love to you all xxx

£20

Jen

You are top-notch! Beautiful human being 😘❤️ xxx

£20

Barbara Croft

It’s really tough seeing someone you love go through dementia, but you are doing a fantastic job. Sending lots of love xxxx

£20

Daniela

Sending you big hug and love. So sorry that you are going thru this w Darren. You are strong lady. Much love xx

£20

Nicole & Family

You are an inspiration Donna, sending love to you all xx

£20

Sheila K

Thinking of you and your family !! 😘

£20

Sandra Heinze

Keeping you all in my thoughts Donna xx

£20

Sharron Brown

Thinking of you Donna x

£20

Chris

Never forget 'One day at a time darling' xx

£20

Emma

You've got this mama. You and papa are the strongest people I know. ❤️❤️

£19

Anonymous

Good luck Donna. You and your family are doing an amazing job xx

£18

Louise Taylor

Go Team Donna. Br, Louise x

£17

Gf X

You are certainly in my top 10!!! Xxx ❤️

£15

Lynne Cornwall

Such a horrid cruel disease, my thoughts are with you all x

£10

Marcella Byrne

Keep doing what you are doing Donna You are truly amazing ❤️❤️

£10

Lacey Fitzgerald

❤️

£10

Maddie Lunn

Good luck Donna! Sending love to you all ❤️

£10

Nicky

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